Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
