She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
