his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize