i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
