Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
we should paint friendship bongs
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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