Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
