Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
