I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
