Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
