why didn't you poke me back
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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