there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
