So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize