the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
