so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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