Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
