When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
