She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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