You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize