well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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