I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
