oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
