I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
