I cockslap morals
they need to just BURY HIM!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
