i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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