Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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