Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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