there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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