i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
