Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
