people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
