A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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