Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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