I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
