I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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