Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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