The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
