THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Damn victory sex feels great
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
