i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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