i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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