The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
