Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You smell like stripper and shame
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
