Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
