Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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