You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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