Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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