Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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