Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
