woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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