Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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