SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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