It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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