Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
