if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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