Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
