Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
