Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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