It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
