When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
